Week 36

Just 28 days left. I can't believe that Ellie will be considered "full term" in 7 days. I had my 36 week check up on Monday and from here on out, I'll be going to see my OB every week until Ellie makes her appearance, which I guess could be any day now. I will keep everyone updated with weekly progress reports (without all of the gory details) via the blog. As it turns out, there's a chance that my OB will not be delivering my baby since her day to deliver is Tuesday and every 5th weekend. She assured me that all of the other doctors in the practice have delivered lots and lots of babies and not to be concerned. I wasn't until she got serious and said ,"I want to warn you that one of the doctors in the practice has a tracheotomy so he has to push a button on the side of his neck to talk. It sounds a little robotic, but I wanted to give you a heads up in case he's on call your day". I'm sorry - WHAT? So you're telling me that in addition to the fact that there's an 80% chance you're NOT delivering my baby, there's a 20% chance that Darth Vader IS delivering my baby? This is why Katie Holmes had a silent birth - it's because her doctor had a trach and she didn't want Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto to be the first thing Suri heard. Maybe it won't be that bad and he'll just sound like the guy from Moviephone.

The good news is that I am past the point where I am worried about giving birth to a midget or transgendered baby. The bad news is that last week I read an article on CNN about a boy who was born with a port wine stain on his face and wrote a book to educate other kids about his condition so they won't make fun of him, and now I'm afraid I'm giving birth to Mikhail Gorbachev's mini-me. I really feel that out of all of my fears, this is the most likely one that could come true. Did you know there's a 1 in 2000 chance that she could be born with a port wine stain someplace on her body? ONE IN TWO THOUSAND. That's pretty high. I'm trying not to think about it.

This weekend Dallas is hosting the American Baby Faire. I thought this sounded like a really great idea until I researched it on-line. I had a panic attack looking at the pictures. It's basically a Babies 'R Us but TEN times as big because it's at Dallas Market Hall. I like babies and kids and all, but not that many jammed in with strollers in one area. Everyone knows that registering at Babies 'R Us nearly sent me on a drinking binge, so I can only imagine what would happen if I went to the American Baby Faire. After days of frantic searching, Lee would probably find me holed up in an opium den. If you're in Dallas this weekend, the Junior League is hosting a great event (also at Market Hall) called Days of Spring Market. Stop by and shop!