Crash. Crap.

What a wonderful Friday. That was laced with sarcasm. I had so many things to do today and I can't do anything because do you see that pile of glass of the ground? That's my back windshield laying at the end of our driveway.



So what happened? I was backing down my driveway - I looked over my right shoulder and saw my neighbor's car parked in front of their house. I looked over my left shoulder and saw a truck parked in front of our house with a long trailer attached to it. Unfortunately, I did not pick up on the fact that the a-hole was parked blocking our driveway. I took the above picture with my camera phone. That's exactly where he was parked. I guess the only good news is there's no damage to the body of my car because my windshield took the entire hit.

I'm so mad. I'm mad at myself for not doing a better job of looking down the driveway, but I'm even more mad at the total jerk who decided that it's okay to park wherever he wants. I asked him why he was parked at the end of my driveway and he just said "sorry". He's the one who is illegally parked and I'm the one who pays for it. Doesn't seem fair, but that's how it is. Stupid workers park all along the street and just don't care. I'm calling the police ever single time I see them doing something wrong from now on. Uuuhh. What a way to start a weekend.

Miss Bright, they're ready for your close-up

Ellie had her 1 month appointment today. She's over 10 pounds now! I guess she takes after her mom - she likes to eat. She now weighs 10 pounds 2 ounces (75th percentile) and is 22.5 inches long (93rd percentile). Her head is still 50th percentile, but we don't want her to have a giant noggin anyway. She flirted with her doctor by smiling at him and then holding her head up and looking around the room while on her tummy. Show off. The doctor told me we were lucky to have such a happy baby. I agree.

I had Ellie's picture taken for the first time on Friday as a gift for her daddy for Father's Day as well as gifts for her grandfathers. She was so good through the three wardrobe changes and over 90 flashes going off in her face. In some of the pictures, she wore the outfit that was my going home outfit from the hospital. Against my better judgement, I let them do some "naked baby" shots. Naked babies are cute, but she looked like a little naked old man lying there with her little wrinkly butt. Ellie let me know what she thought of the idea by going to the bathroom all over the place once her diaper was removed. I wasn't totally happy with the pictures, but there was one that I really loved so that's all I needed. That night, Ellie made her first trip to a sushi restaurant. Lee and I had our first date at Blue Fish and found our dog, Lucy, there so we decided to introduce Ellie. She likes California rolls but is a little iffy on the spicy tuna.

On Saturday, Ellie attended another Junior League funding interview with me at Gilda's Club (btw - what a fantastic program). Ellie should really be getting future meeting credit for all of this. I felt like I've been getting better at packing her up and traveling with her until a little incident on Thursday. Ellie attended another JL funding interview at Parkland Hospital with me. For those of you not familiar, Parkland is the public hospital for Dallas... Let's just say if you have a gun shot wound, that's where they're taking you. They also deliver more than 16,000 babies per year and only 14% of those parents speak English. Am I painting the picture for you? We were totally safe because all I had to do was valet park in front and run up to a conference room.

I fed Ellie, packed her up in the car, and as I was driving up to the front of the hospital, I heard a "HUUUAAHH" and turned around just in the nick of time to watch her projectile vomit 30 minutes worth of breastfeeding all over herself and her carseat. She didn't have a set of clean clothes in my diaper bag because he had pooped through her spare onsie a few days earlier and I hadn't put another one in there. So Ellie got new clothes from the gift shop and was stripped down to her diaper and redressed in the Parkland lobby. It doesn't get any classier than that. I may as well been smoking a cigarette while wearing house slippers, a Hooters tee shirt and curlers in my hair.

We didn't do much on Saturday... the usual tummy time and hanging out with Dad followed by a trip to the mall. On Sunday, Ellie made her first appearance at Mass. We sat in the insane-o kid area, but we probably won't do that again since she is pretty quiet. My aunt Kathy was visiting from Memphis so after church, we went to see my parents to celebrate her birthday and Father's Day. On Monday, mom and Kathy spent the day with me and Ellie. We've been quite busy with all of our visits and visitors!

Mysterio Predicts...

Happy 1 month birthday to Ellie! I can't believe she's been here one month already. Each day keeps getting better.


While we were on vacation in Santa Fe last November, we came across a baby boutique on Canyon Road. I found the following and had to have it:





It's like a fortune cookie, but it predicts your child's future as the bag states "on a nice tee shirt". I saved it since November and once she arrived was so excited to open it only to find out that Ellie will be...



A conspiracy nut. Nice. Please note two things here - 1) The look on her face and 2) the way "Conspiracy Nut" is stretched out across that round little tummy. She's laughing on the inside.

Ellie's Big Week

I'm a little late on getting this post out mainly because I was sidelined last Friday. More on that a little later. Ellie and I had a big week - we really hit the town. We started off the week on Monday with a trip to my office. I swore I wasn't going to go in, but I needed to go in to handle a few things and plus I wanted everyone to see my little pea pod. She did really well even if all she did was sleep. Here's a picture from Ellie's "lifting the head" workout. She's getting much better and held it all the way up and looked at me for a few seconds this morning.

We didn't have any adventures on Tuesday, but on Wednesday, we went to see Once at the "Cry Baby Matinee" at a local movie theater. They say you can enjoy a film "without worrying about breastfeeding in the dark" and they have a changing table set up so I expected that it would be all moms and kids. Wrong. There were about 6-8 kiddos there with their mothers and the rest were the general public. In fact, there was this single guy there just watching the movie by himself. Needless to say, I'm glad I made a bottle for Ellie before we went so I didn't give this guy a boob show for free. She was really good through the whole thing except for at the end when she got a little fussy, but she quickly went to sleep.

Thursday was Ellie's first trip to Grandma and Granddad's house in Arlington. We ate lunch and had a good time. I saw Trudie for the first time in a month. My parents have been keeping Trudie since Ellie was born because she's a lot of work because I have to carry her in and out to go to the bathroom. I feel like a horrible dog mom. I'm going to get her back next week. Ellie wanted to take a nap, but since my mom almost crawled in the crib with her, we went home around 3:00 so Ellie could rest.

Friday is when things went a little haywire. I had to conduct an interview for Junior League at Equest for funding for the 08-09' year. Everything went great, but while I was driving home, I had a horrible pain in my lower stomach. I thought I might be hungry so I stopped to get some lunch, but the pain persisted. I kept driving because I just wanted us to get home. When I was close to home, I realized that I wasn't going to be able to get Ellie out of the car or get up our stairs so I called Lee to help us. I was getting a little upset because the pain had been there for an hour so we went to the ER.

Long story short, they think I was just having some latent uterine contractions, but it took 7 hours, a sonogram, a CT to rule out appendicitis, and blood work to determine that. It also took three IV attempts by two people and a blown vein in my hand. They send the third guy in to try to give me an IV and I told him to go fly a kite. I could have been dying and there's no way I would have let them try again. Then I found out they didn't get enough blood for my blood work so they had to stab me a fourth time. Of course by this point, I was feeling totally better so I was just ticked off I was at the ER. I had Ellie with me the entire time because she had had to eat. Poor thing. She was so good ALL DAY. Didn't even whimper. She's such a trooper.

So that was our big week. On Saturday night, we went out to dinner with the Brights again and hit Mi Cocina for dinner. Again, Ellie was really great until the food came and then she needed to be held. Lee's dad got a new dog, Bitsy, so we were able to meet her on Saturday too. Our dogs must have a small panic attack that we're adding to our already large dog family every time a new dog enters the backyard. We didn't do a ton this weekend, but next weekend is Father's Day so that should be fun.

Like our new look?

Thanks to Nicole, I now have my own personalized title bar for the top of the screen! Very exciting. I think the analytical side of my brain crushed and killed the artistic side of my brain a long time ago so I would have never been able to make something as creative. Thanks Nicole and Happy Birthday, Wayne!

After my post on Friday, Lee wanted to take part in a walk with Ellie so we took our second outing in the stroller for the day and walked down to HP Village and got some Paciugo. Ellie is a big fan of getting outside. While Lee was inside purchasing the gelato, I got this picture of Ellie waiting for her dad.

Love that picture. After that, Ellie dozed off and when she woke up, we gave her the first big girl bath in her bath tub. I thought she would enjoy it and she did. She didn't make a peep when she hit the water and seemed to enjoy getting cleaned off. Every time I went to take a picture, Lee quickly moved his hand to assist Ellie in a modesty pose.

Then he thought a strategically placed rubber duckie would help out.

On Saturday when I was playing with Ellie, she lifted her head all the way up and looked at me from a belly down position. You would have thought she had walked on the moon based on the way I reacted to her little milestone. I almost threw her a parade. Lee wasn't here to see it, but saw her do it on Sunday morning. I can only imagine how I'm going to react to her walking or crawling. We managed to get out and about for a bit that afternoon by going to the Vespa store, Apple store, and we went to see Elizabeth at the wine bar. Do I count that as another milestone for Ellie? First visit to a bar? It's actually more of a wine tasting room. That night, Ellie had her first dinner out with the Bright Grandparents at La Paesana.

She was really good the whole meal with only a little fussing, but I think she was a little overstimulated by all of the lights, new sounds and smells.

I went to weigh in at Weight Watchers and after one week, I've lost ... (drum roll, please) FIVE pounds! I think some of that may still be fluid, but I'll take it. Giving myself some credit, I was very good last week since I'm highly motivated right now. I seriously doubt the rest of it is going to fall off as easily, but I've revamped my goal and now want to lose 25 before Labor Day. That's 5 down and 20 to go. I think I can do it.

How is it already June?

The days seemed to drag by as I was waiting for May to get here and now time won't slow down. I can't believe it's June. This week I received a notice from my company stating that I had been granted short term disability (apparently we're disabled when we have a baby) through June 25. That's only 24 days from now. I need to live in Norway or someplace where you can take off 6 months when you have a baby.

I keep on waiting for my kiddo to act up and it still hasn't happened yet. Last night she went to sleep at 11pm and woke up at 3:45am. She ate and went right back to sleep. Two nights ago, I wish I'd gotten a picture of her when I went to pick her up for her middle of the night feeding. She had on her hospital cap and had managed to pull it down over her eyes and ears all the way to her nose. She wasn't crying - she was just giving me her best "Eeeh! EEEEEEUUHHH!!" grunt and rolling around in her crib. It was the first time I'd seen her straight up ticked off and it made me laugh. I'm trying to teach her the difference between night and day so today we took our first walk.

I think she looks a little irritated because of the bumpy sidewalk. Or she may have gas. It's a toss-up. She was awake for the first 5 minutes of our 40 minute walk and then the bumpy sidewalk seemed to put her to sleep. I think I'm going to make a walk a daily routine for us. I hope the weather stays nice for a while. It was almost 80 when we walked at 11am this morning so we may have to start going earlier.

After we got back, she ate again and I put her in her crib for a few minutes while I cleaned up. I had tried to turn on her crazy-looking mobile a few days ago, but she didn't like it. Today she actually stared up at it and seemed to enjoy it. Then Grandma Beth came over and she proceeded to fall asleep from all of the activity.

Grandma Connie came over yesterday and brought my baby book. Everyone has been trying to figure out who Ellie looks like and since she doesn't seem to have many of my features, everyone defaults to saying she looks like Lee. There's a picture of me in the baby album at about 2 weeks or so and it looks exactly like Ellie. It was almost creepy - like looking at a picture of Ellie. So we'll see how she develops.

The Two Week Appointment

I'm happy to report that Ellie got an A+ at the pediatrician today, but what a day to go... Her appointment happened to coencide with the exact time a tsunami was moving through the area. I clued in that we were about to be totally underwater in exactly enough time to get her in the car seat and pull out of the driveway. It's going to take a while before I'm am a pro at getting her out of the car while tolding my purse, diaper bag and umbrella.

The whole appointment went really well and I'm glad I picked the pediatric group that I went with. I didn't know it until today, but the medical assistant for Ellie's doctor was one of my Tuesday night step regulars, so it was good to see a familiar face. Ellie was completly happy being held by her, being weighed and then being held by the doctor. Ellie has gained one pound since our visit eleven days ago so she's now 8 pounds 6 ounces. The doctor was really happy with her progress even though I've been stressing that I've only been feeding her 7 times a day rather than the "recommended" 8-12 times a day. I seriously don't know how she could eat more than she does. The doctor said that whatever I was doing was working, which was good to hear. She's also grown 3/4 inches so she's up to 22 inches long and her head is 14.25 inches. That means she's in the 50th percentile for head and weight and >95th percentile for length. She still looks skinny because she's so long.

Then we had to do something that Ellie did not like - she had to get her heel pricked for the rest of her PKU stuff. It tests for metabolic disorders. She screamed like a banshee. Poor thing. They make you sit there and hold her while they do it so I'm sure she thought I was trying to saw her foot off. That was enough activity for Ellie and she promptly went to sleep.

Two other big milestones occurred yesterday - Ellie's umbilical cord fell off and we got her social security card in the mail so she is officially a tax write-off. She's also making big strides with head and neck control. Today after we got home and she ate, I put her on her stomach for some tummy time. If you lay her down with her head facing one way and then move to the other side, she'll turn her head to look at you. Of course,she face-plants for about 5 seconds during the transition, but she works it out. When I'm holding her upright, all she wants to do is hold her head up and look around with her bright eyes. She gets a little fussy if she can't see what is going on. She's still really wobbly so she looks like a turtle bobbing along. That was Ellie's big day - it doesn't get much more exciting around here!

Memorial Weekend 2007

Life could not be better at the Bright house! We stayed in most of the holiday because Dallas was totally under water for the 3-day weekend. Ellie is still the best baby ever. I am so thankful we were given such a wonderful little gift. She's waking up more now so after she eats, we play for about 20-30 minutes on her exercise mat before she naps. She has her 2 week weigh-in at the pediatrician tomorrow morning so it will be interesting to see how much she has gained. I think a lot because I finally had to break down and buy the carpal tunnel wrist guards. I was trying to wear them most of the day, but it's too hard to pick her up with them on so I just sleep in them. They've helped a lot.

We may have to loose the swaddle soon. After Ellie ate this morning at 6am, I swaddled her and put her back to bed. After a few minutes, I heard her grunting and moving, but didn't go check on her because she wasn't crying. When I woke her up an hour later, this is what she looked like:

Houdini had completely freed her arms from her baby straight jacket. Looks like she'll be wearing footed pajamas in the near future.

One thing is for certain - I definitely did not wear a swimsuit this Memorial Weekend. Sunday marked a big day because I headed back to the scales at Weight Watchers. Uuuuggghhhh. I was "lifetime" before I got pregnant and now I'm back to square one plus some. Well, plus a lot. I knew I had gained, but actually seeing the final damage in black and white was hard. To add insult to injury, the girl trying to sign up in front of me was 5'5" and a size 4. They wouldn't let her join the program because she was within 3 pounds of her lowest acceptable weight. I think the long line of fat women behind her were waiting for her to walk outside so they could beat the crap out of her. I'm going to try to loose 20 pounds before I go back to work full time, which is scheduled to happen the day after Labor Day. I think that will be do-able once I can start working out again. I hope to get "the rest" off before Christmas. I've just got to work hard and not stop until I'm back to my goal. I'm a little upset that I'm this big, but all I have to do is look at my little Ellie and realize my life could not be better and that I'm not the first new mother who has felt like this.

I have a new fashion accessory - a sling. I thought that since Ellie likes being held so much she might enjoy being worn. She loves it. It's like a dark little cocoon. I put her in it and she stayed by my side - through laundry and other chores around the house - blissfully asleep. We had our first outing today. We went to a few stores and she stayed asleep in her carrier the entire time. Ellie also tried out her swing, but I think she's still too small for it. She needs a little more neck control before she can fully enjoy it.

The Stork Has Landed

In case you're coming to visit us, just look for the 12-foot sign in our yard:



Lee's mom was nice enough to order us a stork so everyone on our block knows that Ellie is here!! We were going to go with the billboard, but thought it was too flashy. It's very cute and we get to keep the plaque with all of the details on it.


I don't know how it's already Thursday. I hope the days slow down, but I feel from here on out, life will be speeding by at an uncontrollable pace. Ellie has had several visitors at the house this week. Our friends Shanon and Mike came by on Sunday, Anne Marie visited from Shreveport Wednesday and Thursday and Debbie visited from Houston on Thursday. Anne Marie has 3-month old Alex and Debbie has 2-year old Molly. It was fun to see all of our children together.

Ellie and I have been having a great time. She has been so good - there's a part of me wondering when my luck is going to run out on her being so good. She's been a little more alert lately, but I still have trouble keeping her awake with it's time to eat. Must be rough. She is a great baby and loves to be held - which works out for Lee because he never wants to put her down. I don't either, but I think I'm getting carpal tunnel in my wrists, so I'm going to get a sling so I can wear her while I do things around the house. Here's more of Ellie doing what she does best.

Brando's Baby

Look at the picture and say the following line in your best Godfather voice:

"Leave the gun. Take the cannolis."

That's right. My baby wears a pink skull cap.

Home With Ellie

Lee wanted me to call this blog "My Kid Is Cuter Than Your Kid", but I thought that sounded a little cocky. This is our second full day home with Ellie, and we've been having a great time with her. She doesn't do a lot - mostly sleep and eat, but it's fun just to watch her do that. So far, the highlight of her days include being swaddled and sleeping in her Papasan. If you've been keeping up the past few months, you know that we could never get a 3D picture of her because her hand was always right up by her face. Nothing much has changed with that...

I bundle her up, but somehow she always gets that hand free to be by her head. She looks like "The Thinker" sometimes which is really funny. The first night we were home was a little rough. I think Ellie was making some adjustments from the hospital. There she had constant care 24-7 from the night nurses, but her mom and dad have to sleep and she didn't want us to. At all. So last night, we had a different plan of attack - feed before we go to bed, Ellie sleeps for three hours, BOTTLE, Ellie sleeps three hours. The bottle was so much faster and less frustrating for both of us. We'll see how it works tonight.

She also had her first pediatrician appointment yesterday and he thought she looks great. She was 7 pounds 6 ounces when she left the hospital on Friday and that's what she was 24 hours later. They said that they'll loose a little weight after birth, but she is already maintaining her weight after 3 days, which is a good sign.

We also tried to wear her out a little before she went to bed with her first bath. She was shockingly good through the entire thing. She doesn't really like to be unwrapped, but we kept her pretty covered so she didn't get cold.

So that's it from the Bright house. Until I can actually get out of the house, I'm sure the blogs for the next couple of weeks will consist of more Papasan and bath pictures. Such is life. I'm feeling better by the day (I'm not even on pain medicine!) so hopefully that shouldn't be too long from now. I am a little weepy, but I think that's just the hormones; however, Lee is starting to think I'm undiagnosed bi-polar. I'm so thankful for all of the visitors, well wishes, cards, and phone calls from so many of you. I would love for you to meet her so just let me know if you'd like to stop by for a visit! I'm excited that Debbie and Anne Marie are coming in town this week. Hope to see you all soon!

Welcome Ellen Elizabeth

Please welcome the most wonderful miracle we could have ever asked for:

Ellen Elizabeth

Born May 16, 2007 at 12:33 PM

7 pounds 13 ounces

21.25 inches

If you've ever had a hard labor or delivery, then you may not want to read this because I probably had the easiest one in history. Ellie made it one day longer than I did, but barely. I started having some cramping on Tuesday afternoon and then on Tuesday night I started having some contractions that were unevenly timed. I didn't know if they would stop or slow down so I went to bed. Around 1am, I woke up with stronger contractions so I got up and started timing them. Around 1:30, I woke up Lee to tell him that I thought it was time to go to the hospital.

When I got to the hospital, I was 1cm dilated and since I had NEVER been dilated before, I was very excited about that. The contractions became more regular and stronger so I decided to get an epidural... mostly because I was about to barf from the pain. Literally. But first I had to get the IV so they had a line. This was by far the worst part of the entire process. First I gave blood samples which went okay. Then the nurse tried to give me an IV. Trust me - I told them all about the horrible veins I have and nobody listened. She didn't get the vein. So they sent in Nurse #2 who failed and then Nurse #3 who blew out a vein in my hand. All the while I'm contracting so 4AM was sort of a low point that involved mild profanity. Nurse #4 got it in there. Once I got the epidural, I went to sleep.

Lee can remember more then I can, but I do know that I went from 3.5 cm at 9AM to 9 cm at 11:30. Around 12:20, they decided that I should try to push. If you read above what time she was born, you might be clued into why this was so easy for me. I pushed through the first contraction and she crowned so they told me to stop so they could call the doctor up (by the way - Darth Vader did not wind up delivering my baby and don't act like you're not secretly disappointed). As soon as the doctor came up, I pushed once and most of her head came out, pushed twice and the whole thing was out, pushed the third time and the rest of her popped out. So my total push time equaled about 45 seconds.

When she came out, she cried a little, but didn't fuss much as they cleaned her up. Lee was the first one to hold her while they worked on me and I really thought he'd never put her down. I finally got to hold her and these two huge eyes stared up at me. I knew she knew who I was and she also knew who Lee was because she would look over at him when he talked. I couldn't believe how alert she was. She also looked a little confused because I'm sure she had planned to spend the day swimming again. After we had some time with her, my mom and dad as well as Lee's mom came in to see her.

She's only been here 36 hours, but I can't believe how easy she has been. She's so agreeable. And she's beautiful. I can't believe how perfect she is. She's asleep in my lap right now. We get to take her home tomorrow and I'm very excited for her to see her new home. And for those of you who are interested in me, I'm fine. I have been walking around all day and think I'll be back to my old self in 2-3 weeks. I hope.

Here are some more pictures... there will be more to come!

Mother's Day 2007

You may have guessed - Ellie is not here yet. At least I know I'll be a mother next Mother's Day, and on the bright side, I know that Lee will be a dad for Father's Day. Again - it's just as well because I had some stuff I needed to finish at work on Monday, and I had a big meeting at Junior League last night I didn't want to miss. When I was born, I was six days late so maybe she's trying to beat my record. If she makes it till midnight, she'll do it. My next appointment is tomorrow and I'll have a Biophysical Profile (BPP) then. Based on that, we'll see if she can go another week. I'm interested to see how much they say she weighs. She's still kicking around in there, but I can tell room is pretty limited.

When I got home on Friday, the Baby Rock CD's we ordered had arrived. Now Ellie has Coldplay, U2, The Cure, and Bob Marley in her collection. I think this may be Lee's favorite thing in the nursery. We met our friends Mike and Shanon for dinner at Zushi Sushi and then came home and sat in Ellie's nursery and listened to some of our new CDs. That baby has the most comfortable nursery. Walking in there makes me want to go to sleep - which is the idea.

On Saturday, I went Katy's house for Lauren's baby shower. Lauren is having a little girl too so there was a ton of cute little girl things there. It was there that I met Buzzkill while standing in the buffet line.

BK: So when are you due?
Me: I was due on Wednesday so I'm 3 days overdue.
BK: OHMYGOD. Are you miserable? You must be miserable.
Me: No. I'm fine.
BK: Are you sure you're not miserable? Because you look miserable.
Me: Really - I'm fine.
BK: Wow. I don't know how you're holding it together because I'd be miserable.

Thank you for the pep talk, Buzzie. And rest assured, I will not call you if I ever need to be talked off a ledge.

We celebrated Mother's Day at our house with the Rogers and the Brights minus Elizabeth who had to work. I don't think people wanted me to cook, but I was voting on staying at our house because that way I wouldn't have to wear shoes. I never thought that developing Smurf-like feet would play a role in my decision to stay in or go out, but here I am. We had a good time and Lee gave me a nice gift - some pajamas to wear after the baby gets here. They're so comfy!

More news tomorrow!

Overdue

For the two of you who have not called or e-mailed me in the last 24 hours, I am still pregnant. It's just as well because I had a ton of work I had to wrap up this week. That's made the week go really quickly, so it's a blessing in disguise. I celebrated my due date by having my annual review on Wednesday. No pressure. Lee thinks that my work involvement is keeping me from going into labor, but if the threat of an annual review doesn't throw you into labor, I don't know what will. I've decided that if she doesn't come next week, my absolute last day of work will be May 18. I was really hoping that it would be today, but who knows.

On Thursday, I was in the elevator on the way up to my office with a lady I'd never seen before. She turned to me and said, "When are you due?" Without trying to look bitter, I smiled and said "yesterday". Based on the look on this woman's face, I figured out that people you don't know do not want to hear that they are suspended 12 floors above the earth in a tiny steel box with a woman who is past her due date. They would rather hear that you have head lice or the bird flu. At least they'd have a chance to recover from that. If the elevator gets stuck, delivering some random girl's baby is not on their "Top 100" list of things to do. So from now on, I'm going to tell people I'm due "next week" to avoid mass hysteria.

That's all the news I have. My Branch Davidian baby remains holed up in her uterine compound. Ellie, here's a piece of advice for you - come out. I have never been a part of a standoff, but based on what I see on TV, they never end well for the person standing off. Most of the time they involve tear gas and a SWAT team; however, in your case, it will involve Pitocin and a team of doctors. So do yourself a favor, listen to the hostage negotiator (your father) and walk out of there peacefully because if you don't, we will come get you. Love, Mom.

Groundhog Day

So I went to the doctor yesterday. I'm still the same as I was last week. They could induce if I was dilated at all, but I'm not. In order to decrease my odds of having a C-Section, I'm opting to wait as long as possible to induce, but there's a chance I'll still have to have one since she's right at 8 pounds or just over now. I go back next Wednesday for the doctor to do a big ultrasound to make sure she's still okay and to measure her. If she's not under any stress and I make it that long, I'll check into the hospital at 5pm on May 22 and deliver her on May 23 - that means she'll be 42 weeks. I'm going to make her get a summer job if she waits that long. Of course, all of this may not happen if I go into labor naturally, which could happen at any time. If I have her on May 23, I keep on picturing that SNL skit where Will Farrell is delivered and he comes out a giant man and says "WOW! I am RIPE!". Lee thinks this means she'll be tardy the rest of her life.

That is the baby update. I'm still working and I will until I go into labor or else I'll be sitting at home by myself burning vacation time. I am still working out. I didn't teach it, but I went to my step class last Tuesday and I'm going to go again tonight. I'm keeping it light. If something happens, I'll post on here before going to the hospital... so keep checking the blog for the latest news!

Other than that, I'm starting to enter that "holy crap, I'm having a baby" mode. I was watching videos on Babycenter this weekend and saw a video of a mother giving a baby a bottle. It suddenly occurred to me that I don't have bottles. Seriously - what mother doesn't have bottles? Well, that would be me. Then I started wondering "What else don't I have"?!! I thought we had the big stuff with the crib, car seat, and diapers, but if I'm forgetting bottles, what else am I forgetting? Ellie is going to arrive and freak out because she'll know I'm totally clueless. Babies are like dogs. They can smell fear. Anyway, I went out and bought bottles so now I have a boob backup.

I'm also going a little schitzo and hording food. "Preparing for a nuclear winter" sounds a bit extreme, but I know that's what everyone thought I was doing at the grocery store on Sunday. I don't think our pantry will fit any more food. Why I'm afraid of Lee going hungry, I don't know. I walked through the aisles dumping food into the cart like I'd never see a grocery store again. I seriously have enough food to cook about 15 different meals. I'm a little afraid I'll have to have the C-Section and then I won't be able to leave the house for 6 weeks or something crazy.

We also got a few more things for the nursery. Mom and dad brought over Ellie's toy chest and Lee assembled it. We needed a place for all of the toys and stuffed animals she's already acquired. We also bought a CD Player/Clock so she can listen to her music. My friend, Amanda, gave me a CD of lullabies that are set to Coldplay songs. Lee and I liked the music so much that we found the Baby Rock Records website and bought lullaby albums from The Cure, Bob Marley (Lee's picks) and U2 (my pick). We're hoping Ellie will learn the classics early.

Looks like I amy not be a mother for Mother's Day after all! Hope everyone has a good week!

CSI: Dallas

WOW WOW WOW. The final days before my maternity leave have not been without excitement because today, I am playing the part of James Stewart in Alfred Hitchcock's classic thriller "Rear Window". I am so mad I don't have my camera with me right now because I just watched Dallas Police pull a dead body out of the extended stay motel behind my work. You read it right. Dead body. All morning, we watched the crime scene people taking pictures and there were three cop cars outside the room. I don't think it was anything too horrific because they had the door wide open, but we couldn't see anything. And then a few minutes ago, the pulled out the gurney and hauled him out of there covered with a blue tarp. I know it was a "him" because I called the motel as they were taking out the body. It went something like this:

Me: Hi - I work in the office behind your motel and I'm watching them remove a dead body from one of the rooms...
Man: Uh-huh.
Me: And I'm just wondering - what's going on down there?
Man: I'm not sure.
Me: Did you know there's a dead person out there?
Man: Yes.
Me: Is it a man or a woman?
Man: It's a man.
Me: Did you see him?!!
Man: No.
Me: Was it a murder?
Man: I'm not sure. They're investigating right now, but I don't think so.

POOR. That's a man for you, isn't it? I need more information. It couldn't have been that bad because right after they hauled him off, the cleaning lady went in there with her little cart. This is why I love my window seat.

Week 38 and 5 days

I had a blog all written up last week and then never took the pictures to post with it. There's not much to say. When I went last week for my 38 week checkup, I was 50% effaced and 0 cm dilated. Today, I'm 50% effaced and 0 cm dilated. Are you having deja vu? No, that's what I was at 37 weeks too. So see? You didn't miss much by me not blogging. In fact, I'm going to go ahead and write the blogs for weeks 39, 40, and 41 - 50% effaced and 0 cm dilated. Done.

I know that the ticker on the side of the page says 9 days, but there is a very real possibility that I could be pregnant another NINETEEN days. NINETEEN! (that's me screaming) When I got the news that there was no progression again, I started to wonder "How long can this go on?". My doctor assured me that she won't let me go ten days past my due date. TEN! (me screaming again). Hence, I could birth as late as May 19. She actually said she'd induce around May 16 if worse came to worse. At this rate, Ellie is going to come out walking and talking. Lee keeps trying to coax her out of there, but she's already not listening to him. Since I've stopped teaching, I've increased the amount I'm walking. According to some, that brings on labor. We'll see. I'm having a pregnancy/reflexology massage on Wednesday. I'm hoping massaging my"trigger points" will get things going. My doctor also suggested castor oil, but I'll see how the massage works before I voluntarily give myself irritable bowel syndrome.

We didn't do much this weekend. I got my stroller from Babies R' Us. I was really starting to get a little anxious about that because I knew it had been discontinued, but I hadn't gone to get it yet. I was half expecting it not to be there, but I got one of the last two the store had left. The thing is enormous. It even has a place for Trudie to sit. I also got a car seat base for Lee's car. He told me he's going to install it "later". Apparently, it's not really cool for him to drive around with a car seat base installed in his car as I have done for the last 4 weeks. I may get him a "Baby on Board" placard to complete the new daddy look.

Speaking of, the father-to-be had his "Daddy Boot Camp" class this weekend at the hospital where we're delivering. It was a three-hour class for dads only. He didn't really get into the specifics, but from what I can gather they went over all of these statistics of how kids brought up in two-parent households do better than kids brought up in one-parent households. Sounds like that took a prison-style "scared straight" approach. Oh and get this - the teacher asked the class to state their greatest ambition for their future son/daughter. So what is my husband's ambition for our child? Maybe a world-renown doctor? To follow her mother and be an environmental engineer? I would have been really proud if he'd said he just wanted her to be happy. No, he told that whole class that he wanted to "keep her off the pole". As in the stripper pole. I'm sure they all thought Ellie was the result of a bad night at Baby Dolls. I know he was trying to be funny, but I'm so glad I wasn't there because I would have kicked him under the table. Then I would have kicked him again.

We did get some artwork in that I ordered. How cute is that? That's Ellie's changing area. We're a little short on space so her diapers hang from the ceiling.

Lastly, on Sunday, I was thrilled to learn that my friend Meg is engaged! I'm so happy and excited for her and Ruben. Meg, if you're reading, let's do a destination wedding. Maybe in Mexico. I've never been to Cabo... but you know, whatever. Playa comes in a strong second. I'm just saying if you're looking to pick a place that not everyone has been, I'd LOVE to go to Cabo. That will be great motivation for me to diet and workout. Of course, if I want to go, I'm going to have to NOT be 50% effaced and 0 cm dilated. (Ellie, I'm talking you YOU. Get out of there.)

Happy Birthday, Lee

Lordy, lordy, he's almost 40. Well, not really, but those were his exact words on Friday morning. In the back of my head, I was hoping that Ellie might come on Friday. Since I was born on my mom's birthday, I thought it would be cool it Ellie was born on her Dad's birthday, but it didn't happen. She's still in there. She's pretty strong now so if you push on her, she'll push right back. Lee engages her in that activity more than I do. My two Tauruses are already fighting it out. Great.

We celebrated Lee's birthday on Friday at Cafe Pacific with his mom, dad, and brother. About halfway through the meal I decided to slide my shoes off to get a little more comfortable. I wouldn't normally do this, but I was in a corner against the wall so nobody could see. When we went to leave, I couldn't get them back on and blew a strap out walking. Nothing says sexy like huge feet and no ankles. It's fairly stunning. When we got home, Lee opened his gifts. It was pretty easy for me to shop for him this year since he dog-eared the Brooks Brothers catalogue when it came in the mail and starred everything that he wanted. I used to do that with the Best catalogue at Christmas. I was 6. When he opened one of the shirts he said ,"Oh great! This is the exact shirt I wanted!". Yes, I know. I picked up on that. I gave him a pair of shorts, a linen shirt, and a seersucker sports shirt.

I made him swear that he wasn't going to wear any of the new clothes out in the yard. He swore. And he didn't. He woke up on Saturday morning, put on his new duds and headed out to the nursery to buy plants. Later on that day, he tried to fix our grill in the seersucker shirt. I'm honestly surprised he doesn't mow our yard in his tuxedo. I mean, why not? It totally makes sense. Why wait for a special occasion to wear your best clothes when you can make pulling weeds a little more festive by accenting with a tie or a new Cole Haan belt? I try not to be a nag, but my head would explode if I didn't say something.

We didn't do much this weekend, but we did go to a crawfish boil on Saturday afternoon. At a bar. I was a good sport for about 30 minutes, but then I just wanted to go home. It's hard for me to stand for too long. That afternoon our friends, Mike and Shanon, came over for some wine and cheese and they brought their 3 year-old nephew, Ian. He has red hair and is cute as a button. We told Ian that I was having a baby. He asked where the baby was. I pointed to my belly and told him the baby was in there. He eyed me suspiciously and said ,"Did you eat the baby?". No. "Then how did it get in there?" Um... yikes. "We're totally kidding. I'm just fat." No need to go there.

While we were all outside, another couple stopped by with their 10 month-old little girl. Lucy walked over and laid down on her back so the little girl could pet her. She was in heaven - laid there wagging her tail. I think she was even a little upset when the baby left. Meanwhile, we had to keep Morgan, our Golden Retriever, inside because she loves kids. Loves them. In fact, she loves them so much that most children scream in terror when she's around because they're afraid she's trying to eat them. Poor Morgan. She can't help it - she totally looses her mind when she sees kids. Hopefully, she'll learn how to contain that excitement around Ellie.

Doctor appointment tomorrow - we'll see what she says about being induced. I'm ready for baby - mostly because that would mean I could go on maternity leave one week earlier. I think I have sleep apnea now which is making me a zombie. Not much longer!

Week 37

Full term! Ellie is now fully-baked and ready for her grand appearance. Here's what I learned at my Monday appointment - I'm 0 cm dilated and 50% effaced. She's going to check again next Monday to see if I've made any more progress and to determine if I'm a candidate for induction. I'm so schedule-oriented that it would be nice if I could color code "Deliver Baby" and put it into my Palm Pilot. My guess is I'm not going to be that lucky. I'm pretty tired this week because like clockwork, I wake up at 2:30 am every night. On Monday night, I never went back to sleep. No sleep = cranky and unmotivated Tiffany. I feel like Mariah Carey when she went crazy on TRL and started handing out popsicles telling everyone all she needed was "one long nap".

My co-workers gave me a really nice shower at work last Friday at lunch. We ate lunch, had cake and punch, and played games. Since my office mostly consists of men, I'm not too sure how excited they were to play "What candy bar is melted in the diaper?", but they were good sports and did it anyway. They also gave me a gift card to Babies R' Us so Ellie will be getting her stroller soon.

This weekend was pretty low key. We were going to go to go see Blades of Glory on Friday night, but the hail and threat of tornadoes kept us at home. We saw it Sunday afternoon instead. It was pretty good - I tried not to get my hopes up, but being a big Will Farrell fan, I wasn't as impressed with this movie as his others. We also went to the pre-Baptism class for Ellie. We only have to do the one class so I thought it would be better to do it before she got here than after. I have no clue when she's going to actually be baptized. That will probably be something we figure out when she gets here, but I'm thinking September.

I also went to the JLD Spring Market and bought a bunch of stuff I didn't need and made a trip to the stores for Lee's birthday gift. He's got a birthday on Friday so we have a weekend of birthday celebrations planned. Poor guy - last year his birthday was the day before my PE Exam so we kept it low key and this year I'm pregnant so it will be low key again. Next year I'm promising fireworks, honey!

I retired my high tops today. This was my last week of teaching aerobics. Yes, I've still been hanging in there with my stepping and lifting. I think I could have gone all 40 weeks, but I didn't want to go into labor over a weekend or something and leave my classes without an instructor, so I gave up all of my classes at Week 37 just to be safe. I'm a little sad because this will be the first time in almost 9 years I won't have regular classes, but I don't know how I can balance a baby, a husband, my 9-5 job, my volunteer work, and everything else along with teaching. So I guess it's more jogging and workouts at the YMCA from now on. I may get back into teaching one day, but the more likely scenario is that I'll just keep on attending group exercise classes annoyed that the instructor is stepping on the down beat, can't hear the 8 count, and queues 1 second too late. I'll miss teaching, but I'll miss all of my participants the most. I gave some of them my blog address so I hope they'll still visit me. Thanks for all of the fun classes, everyone!

Week 36

Just 28 days left. I can't believe that Ellie will be considered "full term" in 7 days. I had my 36 week check up on Monday and from here on out, I'll be going to see my OB every week until Ellie makes her appearance, which I guess could be any day now. I will keep everyone updated with weekly progress reports (without all of the gory details) via the blog. As it turns out, there's a chance that my OB will not be delivering my baby since her day to deliver is Tuesday and every 5th weekend. She assured me that all of the other doctors in the practice have delivered lots and lots of babies and not to be concerned. I wasn't until she got serious and said ,"I want to warn you that one of the doctors in the practice has a tracheotomy so he has to push a button on the side of his neck to talk. It sounds a little robotic, but I wanted to give you a heads up in case he's on call your day". I'm sorry - WHAT? So you're telling me that in addition to the fact that there's an 80% chance you're NOT delivering my baby, there's a 20% chance that Darth Vader IS delivering my baby? This is why Katie Holmes had a silent birth - it's because her doctor had a trach and she didn't want Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto to be the first thing Suri heard. Maybe it won't be that bad and he'll just sound like the guy from Moviephone.

The good news is that I am past the point where I am worried about giving birth to a midget or transgendered baby. The bad news is that last week I read an article on CNN about a boy who was born with a port wine stain on his face and wrote a book to educate other kids about his condition so they won't make fun of him, and now I'm afraid I'm giving birth to Mikhail Gorbachev's mini-me. I really feel that out of all of my fears, this is the most likely one that could come true. Did you know there's a 1 in 2000 chance that she could be born with a port wine stain someplace on her body? ONE IN TWO THOUSAND. That's pretty high. I'm trying not to think about it.

This weekend Dallas is hosting the American Baby Faire. I thought this sounded like a really great idea until I researched it on-line. I had a panic attack looking at the pictures. It's basically a Babies 'R Us but TEN times as big because it's at Dallas Market Hall. I like babies and kids and all, but not that many jammed in with strollers in one area. Everyone knows that registering at Babies 'R Us nearly sent me on a drinking binge, so I can only imagine what would happen if I went to the American Baby Faire. After days of frantic searching, Lee would probably find me holed up in an opium den. If you're in Dallas this weekend, the Junior League is hosting a great event (also at Market Hall) called Days of Spring Market. Stop by and shop!